Atlantic City - The Painful Way

Travelling to Atlantic City, the East Coast Las Vegas, can be difficult, especially if you cut corners on your mode of transport...

'Meet me tonight in Atlantic City', The Boss urged.

Never disregard a suggestion from New Jersey's favourite son. So we came to be lining up for a cheap seat on a cheap bus to Atlantic City, the Las Vegas of the East. PK and I, united basically by the fact that we were Australian and liked each other's jokes, were in Chinatown, New York.

The Chinatown bus services had become a saviour for us. We were down to the last of our Greenback and about ready to start using coins, when we got a tip to use this mode of transport. "It's just like Greyhound, mate, but cheaper", an Aussie in Central Park had informed us.

Climbing aboard, the stench hit me. It was the peak of summer, and it was apparent the toilet was full. To my horror I realised PK had moved swiftly up the back, and was about to take a seat. I thought I'd do the right thing and tell him to come down the front, but when I got to the rear of the bus, I swung around to notice the bus was full. I had missed all seats but one, two rows in front of PK, next to a very fat American.

The bus fired up and we set out. I quizzed the American on how long the trip would be, and whether we would stop. I watched as his mind worked through the fact that I had flown 18 hours to sit on a stinking bus in downtown New York. No, I don't know Steve Irwin, and no, Foster's is not big in Australia. Can I get some sleep now?

I put on a cd and tried to put the horrid smell out of my mind. To further upset me, I looked around at PK, and he was sound asleep (we'd had a big couple of days).

About an hour into the trip, I was brought back into reality when I heard a booming voice. The young guy sitting next to PK screamed 'Something smells like shit!!!!' Oh, really? This woke PK and for some reason the both of us started laughing uncontrollably, much the way you did when your teacher in Grade 4 had his fly down or something similar.

We made it to Atlantic City, and while the trip was over, there was one final thing for me to do as I gathered my bags. I walked over to the disturbed young man and thanked him very much for making the second half of the trip so enjoyable, and yes he was spot on, something did smell like shit.

Just like Greyhound but cheaper and full of shit. As for Atlantic City, aside from the beer, the bus trip was the highlight.